THAT EASY

was it that easy to hurt to leave to kill every luv emotion was in me?
was it that easy to forget to reject every attempt to survive?
was it that easy to leave me behimd and never mind?
was it that easy to close ur eyes and shut ur mind?
coz ie was not easy to feel pain and try to ignore it
it was not easy to keep hurtin and never avoid it
it was not easy to watch god things in me been killed and i wouldnt mind?
coz it was not that easy to leave u and never let go
it was not that easy to see ur back and stood there waitin for u to come back
coz it was not easy to cry myself to sleep and wished u were there
it was not that easy to hope that one day u wake up and discover that u once loved me back and it wasnt all a lie
coz it was not easy to watch ur dreams destroied wiz the hand that u once loved
coz my darlin it was never that easy to keep waitin for the one who shall never come

DONT ASK ME

dont ask me about me coz its somethin unknown 2 me,
dont ask me about my soul i have lost it long time ago
dont ask me about my heart it broke down and i have said goodbye
dont ask me about my dreams its there flyin far far away
dont ask me about asmile!!! wiz that pain inside
dont ask me about hope that thing keep hurtin me more &more
dont ask me about my name coz am not sure who would i be
dont ask me about my sad eyes coz the answer may take years
dont ask me about my family i am alone
dont ask me about myself coz there is no answers exist

I HAVE FEAR

i have fear in my heart that the day wont come and i will never fall in luv or the day will come and i fall in luv ,if that happend how could i fell how great is that thing they all takin about and i will miss that some day some one will miss me and i wont feel the warm of his arms around me and i wont hear his voice in my ears calmin me down that he is here and he shall stay,he wont touch my hand or be wiz me when i need some one to lean on his shoulder.
and if it does came and i felt all this but some day u wont be here and my heart wont stand the absent and will alwayes blame me for lettin u in and i may lose my mind missin u or somrthin i
can feel it now the tears burnin my eyes and sadness would kill me
,.and i wounder if u stayed would u keep lovin me or some day ur luv would stop or wont be enough?that someday i will reach to ur hand to hold and doesnt found it there that when u look at me i cant find me in ur eyes and the thing i will fear the most that i would see some one else on them and u shut ur heart in my face and ur ears doesnt hear me any more,
i fear that when that happen we would have children that we must luv and care about and i wont be able to get away from my pain and i stay and loose any hope to be happy in luv again .
i have afear that may be one day u chang and i cant find the man i luv in u and when i try to get u i loose my way and when i try to hear u i cant and i wont stop lovin u but that would make u stop lovin me coz we cant get along any more,,and it would be my fault..
i fear that our luv shall die and we never think about it no more and duty have the higher word on us and we doesnt feel so and then neither u or i be happy but we wont get it,
i have so many fears all of them compine in that fear of loosin my luv coz i have lost alot of things and i dont wanna loose anythin anymore,,
so i ask god to give me the bless of luv in my life and that it shall stay as long as i will live,,

died befor born

i didnt thought that it would be that hard all the time that it wouldnt even give me aspace to breath every once and while ,i waited for somethin good to happen somethin may change i kept fightin it back wiz all my strenght but at last it got me and i started to fall down and stop resistin and start wounderin as i take all that pain wt is goin to happen ??will it ever end may be some day days may carry the answers and rest me but iam afraid it may take long that i wont be there for the peace when it shall came,,and when he ask about me ppl may say ''died befor born''

STRANGER

holdin that thought in to her mind with sad face on place ppl surround here but she felt like she was alone in afar far plzce where there was no sound but her braethin sound that sounds so calm as she was fraid to take it,,alook in her eyes so deep that had all the words in it..

stranger thats how she felt she felt so unused to wt is goin around here any where she go she was pushed away and she try to fit in wt it seems impossible to her so hard she cant fight it anymore she just started to get used to it but when it spread thats when she couldnt take it she cant feel herself even when she is sittin with family members ,,ppl she raised wiz ppl she had know all her life ,,wt is this suppose to mean is it that weired ??

is it they or her ??feelin so away that even her smile is fake so painful to her evry one she know or get to know is hurtin her by gettin so lame ?whoes fault is this she cant stand is it doin somethin wrong ?she just wanna life so many ppl r seems to get along fine wiz that so wt had gone wrong?

fellin pulled away from wt her life was and that her days goes hour after hour hurtin her some how so painful so sad she cant stand that,,,she feel unloved and bein punished for nothin she had done nw walkin out from the restaurant she figured out that she had to make peace wiz her pain coz it seems it might stay for along time so she had to accept it.........

EMBAR7 WALA ENHARDA??

ana s2lt nfsy so2al gamd enharda w ana bashof tfl 3ndo 3 years f 3yadt dr. w a3dt afkar w howa byt2alm kda mn his teeth,yaaaaah so3'anoon awi 3la kda w s7e7 kolna bnt3b bs el kids lehom emotions tanya 3shan bn7s n7ythom enhom do3af.

tayb lma ykbar hayb2a 3ady eno ysta7ml bs de alamo btkbar m3ah howa da 7al el ensan by2wa bs bardo el alam bykter w s2lt nfsy kol bnt t7b tsa3'ar nfsaha w kol gel y2ol lely b3do zaman mknsh fe kza w kza ana kont dayman bafakar eny 3aiza a3rf kol 7aga 3n el technologya ely gaya w eny msh 3aiza ab2a zai gdo msh y3rf ysta5dm el comp. aw aw.......

w enharda fakart eny momkin makonsh s7,,aywa bokra msh a7san mn enharda el 3onf zad w el 7rob f kol makan el ensan m3tsh moktan3 en ely 3aysh m3ahom 3la el earth bny admeen bardo zayo l2,nsbt el 7ob 2lt msh feh emotions 5alas aywa bntawar bs nw ana shyfa en tatawrna da byde forsa lel machine w byd3f el ensan ana 7asa nw en ely bysna3 sela7 ensan 3'by m5trsh 3a2lo wala youmo 3shan y7aded howa by3ml kda leeh??

ana kont 3aiza a3esh f bokra dlwa2ty 7ta 5ayfa a3esh f enharda tb eeh yb2a manzar bokra lma enharda b el shakl da??ezay ana araby atfal f zaman zay da??a2olo zmelk f el calss da a5ok w sade2k wala a2olo 5af 3la nfsk w take care mn el nas ely mt3rfhomsh tayb ana lw 2olt el 2 tfl hayt2abl kda ezay w howa momkin f ay la7za m3a ay kanah 3la tv myfhamsh w ys2alny m ana a5oya mat odamy aho m3a el magazr ely bt7sal f 3'aza.

l2 ana msh 3ayza a3esh bokra w howa b el shakl el mor3b da ana kman msh 3aiza a3esh enharda w mafish e7sas kda ana 3aiza el ppl to2af w think lela7za ana s7 wala 3'ery ?

ana e5tart w el ensan howa sha5sya bttkawn mn e5tyrato enta kol youm bt3ml million desicion by7add w by2athar dayman f sha5sytk eza kan b eslob zahr wala l2 w ana msh ha5tar bokra wala enharda wala 7ta embar7 ana ha5tar el 7ob w el ebtsama ha5tar el 5er w el salam ha5tar el hdo2 w el safa2 ha5tar el tfahom w el w7da ana ha5tar ay 7aga 7lwa f ay zaman w ay makan .....

BRING IT ON

so many words to describ sadness and bad luck but its strang when u feel them for real feel like u have been kept away from happeness and that ur smile r really really stolen away fron life ,,when u feel that every time u laugh u combine it wiz tears or u just cant taste the true taste of it as u just smile so u dont cry or show ppl sadness u suffer as they would be bored .

when ur heart aches and u cant stand the breath u take in or out and u feel every time u open ur eyes that u wished that they kept close for longer time,and every moment passes by u wait for the thing that will hurt u the thing that will break u more and more and u cant speake or keep it away.

and the time passes by and u feel like it wont ever go away ur hope disappear and u just need abreak but this isnt schoole u will have it all with no word to say and nothin to do wait for somethin kept all away but even when u smile u r afraid u cant have it for so long or even for awhile wt life should it be that one who carry all that sadness to me ,

just wanna scream and say enough but nothin would chang that may be i loose my voice or my mind i kept waitin sayin okay yes to wtever came coz nothing would move it away its life and u gonna live i just hopped for better moments to live or even that pain should wait 4 some time not alwayes come along in the same time just too much to bear

and at last i have nothing to say but''sadness i have agreat god by me'' and iam waitin for the lesson i take from wt is goin on so bring it on

ENOUGH FOR ME

i have started to find out who am i and to creat the personality i wanna be i have discovered thing called my heart that thing that alwayes argue with my mind but i cant let go of him.
coz my heart hold u in and i cant let go of wt u make me feel,,when i think of u i remember the day we talked and that we have never find the way to get each other though we alwayes have

our ideas and i hated some times but there was nothing in me that u didnt manage to let it out.
and let my emotions free and u didnt even woundered nothin of me ,,u cared and i didnt understand it at first i find that very strang to me ,i thought too much about u and to find u suddenly there in me.

secretely i have waited 4 u all my life blamed u when u were not there and hated that u were too late wished that all day may be pain will go away when i see u smile too me ,,i have waited so long for u days may bass and i wont move thinkin that if i stopped may be world will stop with me and wont move again till u came coz i wanted no more minutes to pass with out u there.

we may be fight we may be got bored but i hold ur thought and never let go that wt ever happened we will find love in our heart to guide us back to our way ,,to our life i have hold the thought of u so i could pass the days that carry so much pain in hope that u wil be here some day and manage to keep them away.

i have waited for u and nw u came findin u true is hard to believe but iam happy that some of my dreams had come true may be not all the time coz its real life but iam sutisfied and that is enough for me ..is it for u ??