lookin to my steps in the street i felt isolated from the other world .i can hear ppl talk ,walk ,smile and run but in some way i managed to find myself away even when am there.every thing in me move like in slow motion i even think slow the step am talkin in second seems like going on for awhile now .
i know that am not ok something wrong wiz me is going on eatin wiz no desire and breathin wiz adeep sound i start lookin around and found evrything else was goin ok so what is wrong with me??and when my friend tell joke and i started to smile i didnt feel it either i can get that my lips r moving but i cant feel it the sounds seems so far although its right besid me .i didnt want to pay and attention to what was goin on wiz me so i kept thinkin about it only in my mind and as it seems like i was thinkin so loud i tried to think in silence but every time the sound get louder and i can't control it .i started to look around tryin to figure out if the ppl around me is gettin my ideas but it seems like they r not ..
oh..i cant stop it nw it has been week and the situation is getting worth nw every thing i see i must think about it no matter how small it is my thoughts seems to control me i cant stop my mind from workin and it looks like it has stooped everything else around me just so he could only work the fast as he want,,what an evil mind the one i got..
its hell on earth ,,it will never stop.wt will i do it took me 3 min to just blink nw i feel like am not movin at all ..every time am trying to resist this situation and get it normal i loose my fight and get more involved .nw its like am dead body with active brain one tear stood in my eyes for about 10 min. just to start her journey down it took 15 min to reach my check and my hand i didnt even try to move it no use..no use
as i didnt do anything else but thinkin against my well i start to listen to my ideas and i heared myself saying
nw i got ur attention ha??
i couldnt believe it i said ''wt?
i answered
yea,,wt?this is all wt u r going to say ?
i cant say anything else coz i cant get it
and u have never get it and doubt that u would
wt r u talkin about??
am talkin about u?
me !!!am i crazy me is u and u is me ur r my ideas we r one
i dont think so...we r 2 and u always ignored me
i didnt
yes u did
i didnt !!!!
yes u did
i...
oh shut up..u r even ling to urself if we r one u wouldnt do that..
...........
yes..u had me and u didnt do anything about it didnt move in the way we draw it and planned it .i watched u going every way but the right one.i guessed u would wake up but it has been so many years ...where r u going ??
i dont know
then why r u keep movin
i was afraid if i stopped i wont move no more,,so i kept movin every where till i find it
it was there u r the one who choose anther pass and no matter wt i say u didnt care
i didnt notice
no u didnt care
wt am going to do..am tired
i dont know u r on ur own nw
but..
no but am tired too am tired of u
wt?how come my ideas get tired of me??u r mine
i was yours but u lost the way to me and i wont show u the way back..iam done wiz u all wt u r going to do is ignore me again and it will start all over but the next time i wont be that strong .iam gettin weaker and weaker every day u neglect me.
oh,,
yea am dying ...u r killing me
but..but..i have nothing to do
doesnt matter .wt did u do when u had something to do??nothing too
oh god...i cant loose u wt am going to do nw?iam sorry ..iam sorry ,tell me wt am going to do
and i can hear the sound getting fad and i start to move little by little but i didnt wanna let go i kept saying ''wt am going to do ?wt am going to do??''
and i heared it so far away asound so weak wiz words not so clear at the same moment i got my motion and i can move i heared it say
'''make me true..dont let me go'''
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