i need to tell u this my friend ..i didnt find the right moment to tell u that one day when i was outwith my friend havin launch she left me to get the order and then a girl and boy set next to me and the girl voice was so loud talking and she seemed happy actually that she didint notice,,
she was saying that she doesn't talk so much and she is calm its her nature,, and i smiled the loud girl is calm but wtever...as we set for an hour or so actually she didint stop talking and not once i heared the boy's voice and as we leaving i laughed and my friend asked why and i told her u know that girl was saying that she doesnt talk much and hate it...my friend laughed she said what???!!!
i did remembered then how i used to tell u that and talk and talk ...i felt bad i did the same thing and i tried to convince myself that words was all we have and ofcourse i must talk when i called u then why didi i called at the first place???
my friend i wanna tell u that i hated when u heared my dad's voice i hated when i had to deal with him when u was with me on the phone coz see am trying to convince myself that am agood girl and i do respect my family but my actions said otherwise i couldnt tell u that coz u would be like >>then why u do it ?or u would think am trying to prove that am good and u would say something like u r sure and u know it but its not about only u its about me too and i didnt feel so our actions define alot of who we are and my actions said am not who i think iam ...
i did think alot about us and my sis said to me as am saying to her that i dont wanna take path just coz its easy and she told me that i should try the right one ...u was right so right in the wrong way...
as i was in the middle of emotions and actions i was going crazy while u said to me u feel bad when i show u the pic and u wont do that again i couldnt get it i was so tired and u saying stuff and leave when i said go and u hate the way i did say sorry but i really needed to know wt would u do if i didnt say it would u choose never to deal with me ??it was so easy for u to push me out and i know how hard was it for u but u did it once and GOD i cant tell u how much it hurted me as am trying to be the strong girl and the time we argue on the phone u didint call i had to ask first and days go by i dont hear from u ...did u care???i cant ask u
i didnt let anything go ..its all with me and some days easier than other but u were in all of them
i hate it when ppl say "its not u its me "..(coz really if it was u why u would drag somebody in this its not fair )so i wont say it but i didnt let anything go u were there and u r everywhere..i had u in my life and u were on the plan wiz me and u were in the airport that day i come i had u in my head and i talk to u all the time more and more i can say but u got it..
i had u in my dreams last night and its not just my head coz it was abeautiful dream and my mom said its great for who ever u are i wish u will always be as i saw u ...
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